IELTS Essay Sample (Writing Task 2) for 7+ Bands: Agree Disagree Essay 2

Agree-Disagree Essay

(Student who got 7.5 bands in IELTS writing wrote this)

The problem of obesity is one the biggest ones that man is dealing with today. Epically in children, obesity has now become quite common. According to some, one of the ways to solve this problem is by making physical education a regular subject in schools.

What is the extent to which you disagree or agree with this statement?

Student’s Response:

Eating disorder in children today has led to them being obese. Due to reduced physical activity and intake of junk food, they have become more prone to such health risks. Physical education is one way to overthrow this danger, as it will teach them the harms caused due to all these factors and the importance of leading a healthy life. Therefore, I completely agree with the statement that physical education should be made regular as a way to fight obesity.

Firstly, children can acquire any changes in the lifestyle more easily and continue them throughout life. So, if they will be made to perform physical activities daily, this habit will be reinforced in them,and it will easily become a part of their routine. This has to be a long and continuous process to reap results,and regular physical education classes will definitely be a sure shot way for that to happen. Their mind has to be conditioned into believing that this is the best way to lead the life and their bodies have to become habitual of this routine.

Furthermore, physical education will also educate them regarding the benefits of inculcating this routine. In this way, children will self-analyse what is best for them and will be motivated towards leading a healthier life. They will be made aware of how their body functions and what is beneficial or detrimental for its proper functioning, thus preventing them from falling into the traps of obesity.

With all these points, it can be easily established that physical education can definitely bring out a positive change in children’s lives, by making them fitter and informing them about the need to be so and, hence, should definitely be included in school curriculums.

Total Words: 288

Why he got 7.5 bands?

Band Description:

This essay is likely to score 7.5 bands. Here is detailed band description for the essay:

Scoring Parameters

ParameterResponse
Task Response
  • The essay has sufficiently addressed all the parts of the question.
  • It takes a clear position in the starting and maintains that all along the response.
  • The candidate has presented a response that is well-developed and gives relevant ideas.
Coherence
  • The sequence of paragraphing is appropriate.
  • The ideas, examples,and information have been presented logically.
  • Manages to meet all the criteria of cohesion and gives has a clear progression of ideas throughout.
  • There is a definitedemarcation between the paragraphs.
Lexical Range
  • A wide range of vocabulary has been used precisely and flexible.
  • There is a remarkable use of uncommon words as ‘prone’, ‘reinforced’, ‘conditioned’ etc.
  • The vocabulary fits well with the ideas and flows naturally through the response.
  • There are no mistakes in spellings
Grammar
  • There are very rare misses in Grammar.
  • Most of it is error-free.
  • Compound and complex sentences have been handled accurately.
  • Punctuations have been used precisely.
Important Note: This descriptor explanation is written by Marvel Education Group and represent their views.

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